Wednesday, April 30, 2008


I think I need to join a gym....

I just dread the thought of going by myself.

I wanan go for myself. But hten there's the comfort level. I will know noone there. I will have noone to communicate with. On one hand it could be good for me.

I could go and concentrate on what I need to. I can get my workout(s) in. Get my goals accomplished. I would be able to work hard at getting my body in better shape (and getting myself healthier overall) with little to no distraction.

But despite my somewhat outgoing personality I still feel akward when in public settings where many or all people around me are those whom I don't know. I get even more self concious (Sp?) than I normally am. I start to critique myself and pick out everything possibly wrong with myself that I think others would and dwell on it... (I know there is probably an issue there).

It's not just the familiarity. I also feel uncomfortable around a room full of people in fit or beyond fit shape. It makes me feel akward and uncomfortable. I'm one who's normally confident in my own skin but feel self concious to the point of being akward and nervous when I feel I stick out in a bad way.

I really should do it. I feel as though I am getting my life on a healthier track but I should also be adding some sort of excercise routine to my diet and meal plans to step it up and achieve even better results.

I suppose I should try and talk one of my friends into going with me. Hell I'd even pay so I don't feel akward and like an outcast.

Pretty random and boring blog I know! But I doubt it will get much review anyways.

I will be sure to update with any decision I end up making.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

So Over Blonde....

So I ended up going blonde after all. It was fun. It felt interestibng again. I even noticed custoemrs approached me in a more friendly manner once I went back to blonde....

But I'm soo over it now.. Random I know. So I picked up some Garnier 100% Color Blue Black.

I will be dying my hair tonight. This also means what must be done is my eye brows as well.

I'm having trouble deciding if I want to dye them dark brown, soft black, jet black or blue black. They def. have to be dyed darker because my hair as a whole would look stupid with blue blakc hair and blonde/auburn eyebrows.

And because many of my friends are promting me to explain to them how I dye my eye brows I think I may post a tutorial on them as well.

Well bored for now. Getting ready to go tanning and grab some last minute things at the TarGet' >It's supposed to read Tar-Jhea> Cos Target just sounds too bargain huntery for me...

On another random note I have more than 43 pairs of flip flops... And I baught somemore last week... I have to go through my closet before I go shopping next time.....

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Blonde Ambition

Damn... I miss being blonde...

I don't know. It's something about that color!

I've been everything from bleach blonde, to godlen blonde, to honey and ash too.

I generally went to a different color after though. I can't help but think I had a greater confidence in myself with that color of hair on myself.

Even through breakage ond over processing I loved the result, damaged or not..

I am at a turnstill. I really want to go back to blonde...And I just dyed my hair blue black again.....

What to do...What to do...

I may wait until May to work my way back. Rid the dye. Get it chocolate brown. Work my way to golden brown..Than BLONDE again! I want to be blonde soo bad...But my hair has suffered sooo much damage.. I have spots of my hair that are so thin now from over processign and breakage. I mean I have hair on my crown JUST now coming back in as of these last few months from a real bad bleach breakage....And it;s not as thick as it was before. And yet I still want blonde.

In retrospect I guess it's fortunate I'm a male. After all I could just shave it all off if it were to get so damaged it would stop growing back in patches.

But then I'd have to get ridiculousy thin and tan.... Tan does sound hot..

Tan and Blonde... Well maybe dark golden blonde to be safe...

I will most likely still wrap my mind around it as I get closer.

Here's to hoping I can tempt myself into achieving it in a way not so damaging next time!